At the heart of any ministry lies the heart of their staff. The warm and loving staff of OAIM are volunteers who give of their free time to help those who are hurting find God's answers to their everyday problems. Because of the nature of our work, we have had some lately who have added the OAM to their name but who are merely trying to stand in the way of the work God has set before us. This is why we ask you to always consult this page for verification as to whether someone who is using the name OAM is really one of our staff members or not. Please note that capitalization is not a factor with Yahoo so the letters may or may not be capitalized. 

Our staff members go through an intensive application process and are trained in both the Bible and biblical counseling as they work with people. We do not do pyschological counseling (see our article on biblical counseling and on psychology for more information on our stance on psychological counseling). We believe that God asks all Christians to guide each other through life's problems by applying the Bible to our own lives and then helping others to do the same in their own lives. If you are interested in joining the OAIM staff, please read our page for those who are interested in becoming counselors with us. We strongly suggest that prospective counselors read the book, "PyschoHeresy" by Martin and Deidre Bobgan (you can also view their site), which we consider a prerequisite to being accepted to work with OAIM.

I have been part of a jail ministry for a time and have been involved in many small home-bible-study groups. I believe God has called me to be a pastor, but not in the traditional sense. I have discovered that my real heart is in personal one-on-one witnessing and counseling.

As a result of my past involvement in world religions, the occult and cults, and a span of several years as a self-professed atheist, I have spent many years on the studies of comparative religion, the occult and cults so as to be equipped to give an answer to every man who asks of me a reason of the hope that is within me (1 Peter 3:15). I have devoted many years to the study of His written word to show myself proved unto God, a workman that need not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth (2 Timothy 2:15), believing that all scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness (2 Timothy 4:16). God has blessed me richly by leading many godly Christians to help and to be a part of this Internet ministry, which has gone far past any expectations I originally had. Many have been blessed through Open Arms Ministry, and those of us who have been involved have been blessed as well. I thank God for each and every one of them.

I'm 49. I don't have any children, but I do have two cats and a dog. I've been divorced since July 1999, after being married for three and half years (yes, I did have biblical reasons). I come from a Christian family (I've been a Christian since I was 9) and my parents just celebrated their 58th anniversary this past September! I enjoy working with teens (I've taught high school Spanish and French for 20 years) and singles (I was single until I was 36). I have spent many years in various forms of Christian service, including 6 months in Paris as a missionary working with a French church. Presently I teach high school, operate a home-based company, Chalkboard Productions, and write, as well as working with OAIM in my spare time.

Officially my job title in the chat room is the bouncer (to maintain an atmosphere that is conducive to allow hurting people to share their problems, which means I report trouble makers to Yahoo). I do many of the secretarial tasks and am the webmaster for this site. Pare and I started this ministry together in January 1998 and it's been a real blessing to me ever since! It's been amazing to see how God has worked in bringing the two of us together. Either one of us by ourselves would not be capable of running a ministry like this, but Pare has the skills I lack and vice versa. God has really blessed me by bringing me into partnership with Pare, one of the most genuine, sincerely godly men I have ever had the privilege to meet. 

 

	On May 28th, 2005 I was in the garden planting my tomatoes. The sun was shining; it was a beautiful day. I stopped for a moment, and thanked God for giving me such a glorious day to plant. Then I thought, how different this day was compared to just one year ago. I was planting tomatoes then too, only I didn't notice the beauty, didn't stop to thank God. I did stop not to thank God, but because I was crying so hard I couldn't see a thing. I gave up and went to my room. I did talk to God that day but to beg Him to help me. I remember telling Him, I couldn't get it right, and I didn't know what He wanted me to do for Him to love me and help me.
God was like an obsession back then. I knew He was there, couldn't figure out how to get Him here with me. I had tried everything, and God was my last hope, but I wasn't good enough and that was why I was crying. I knew that He could stop all of this if He wanted to with a blink of His eye. I was depressed. It was not new; it had followed me most of my life. I'm 43 years old, had been depressed since I was 13. When I was 22, I was hospitalized for it. The following years were spent in and out of psychiatric hospitals, on medications, in counseling. I attempted suicide several times although I wasn't totally serious. See I knew that if I did, I was doomed to hell. And even though I was miserable and hopeless I was more afraid of the "lake of fire" than I was of continuing to live. By 1989, I had lost my children, my husband, my home and everything I owned. I lived on the street for a while and one day a kind person took me in, cared for me, saved me, at least for a while. The years that followed were ok, although I couldn't work. I was fine as long as I lived quietly. But it wasn't enough. I resisted the pull of severe depression for several years, although it never left me, just hovered below the surface. I thought of myself as a damaged person, half, not whole. I eventually remarried, and we regained custody of the children. In 2000, my brother died and the following year I found myself again in a hospital. The doctor there had me on so many meds I was not a risk to myself or anyone, I could barely function. My husband pulled me out and took me to another hospital. The doctor there stopped the meds. I managed to get by for a few more years. Until that day in the garden. After I left my room, I went to the computer. I needed to talk to someone, anyone. The Internet is anonymous and this what I wanted; no one could know me. I was looking for a message board, somewhere to talk about this where no one knew who I was. I wanted to find out why God hated me and thought maybe the answer was there. OAIM was first on the list. I read the front page for the group, and went to the website. I didn't believe what they said. Depression is a spiritual problem? Yeah right. All those years of misery, medications, psychologists, wanting to die and these people say it's about God? But I had tried everything else so why not? At first I just watched, visited the chatroom and board but didn't participate much. Things got much worse for me, and one day I decided it was time to ask for help. Sending that first email was the scariest and best thing I ever did. I had no idea how much my life was going to change. I had no idea how wrong I was about God. I saw Him as an angry, judgmental God who expected me to always get it right, be good and then maybe He would help me. As a child I would pray each night, afraid if I didn't I might die before morning and would be in hell. As a teen the things that happened I saw as God's punishment for not obeying Him. I decided that since I could never be good enough why bother with Him? He wasn't listening anyway. There was no hope. I learned these things in my church. The pastor taught and believed you lost your salvation each time you sin. He taught about giving things up and what you must do to be saved. It wasn't a matter of just believing, it was salvation + service, tithing, forgiving, etc. I even believed that taking communion without being right with God could mean literal death. For years taking communion filled me with fear and I would be physically ill. I know now that this is called legalism. I look forward to communion now without fear, without feeling sick and it's a moment of pure joy, peace and love, a time when I think of how much God loves me that He sent His son to save me, of what Jesus did for me. I've gone from depressed to happy, from being afraid to being filled with joy, turmoil to peace, wanting to giving, despair to hope. That shadow just beneath the surface is gone, replaced with love and peace. The things that used to drive me deeper in depression now are just problems that need to be solved and if I can't, I leave them to God. My thoughts are focused on God instead of my troubles. The valleys don't last as long and the mountains seem to last longer. Sometimes it feels like I could soar like an eagle and those times sustain me when trouble comes, I remind myself that joy is just around the corner. Amazing isn't it? From clinically depressed, miserable, hopeless skeptic to counselor in 18 months. Becoming a counselor just seemed a natural progression, I didn't think about it much. It just made sense to do it. I shake my head in disbelief sometimes, never imagining I could do such a thing. I said once, all of those miserable years were such a waste. But they aren't. When I say to someone "there is hope" I know it's true.     I became a Christian when I was 15 years old at a Billy Graham crusade in Chicago, Il. Looking back now, I don't believe that I really understood the importance of salvation, as it was not something that was taught at my childhood church, but when I was at the crusade, I felt an overwhelming urge to go forward and pray that special prayer with someone else listening. Over the next few years, without reinforcement of the choice that I had made for my life, church still remained a weekly part of my life, but the fire that had been ignited within me began to flicker and sputter, and dimmed way down. A few years later, I fell in love, got married, and had 3 beautiful children, but all the while, it felt like there was something missing from my life. After beating my head against a wall for years, I met some wonderful friends on the internet who had more love and patience with me than I ever would have had. I discovered what was missing in my life, and one day, it finally all sunk in, and I rededicated my life to Christ. I began attending a wonderful church that focused on God's word, and not all the fancy liturgies and services that many churches focus on. My heart was so hungry for the straight word of God, not embellished or fancied up, just good straight teaching straight from the Bible. I sure wish I had been raised in that kind of church, or, more importantly, wish I had found it in time to raise my own children there. My middle son has accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior, and my constant prayer and the deepest desire of my heart is to see the rest of my family become Christians. Life has been hard for me, as it has for many people, and I have given up all hope on more than one occasion, but through it all, God has been there, even when I refused to see Him or His love and works around me. He has blessed me in ways that never cease to amaze me. I still go through doubting moments, and I often wonder if He gets tired of them, but through it all, He continues to draw me near to Him, and He lets me know that everything will be all right. What a blessing to be so loved and cherished, when I don't deserve it at all. A friend from my new church loves to tell me that God "delights" in me. That concept took some real getting used to, I mean how could anyone, let alone the God who created this entire universe, from the minute to the magnificent, delight in me? Well, I still don't fully understand that one, but knowing that if I were the only person ever created, God still would have sacrificed His only Son, just for me, makes me very humble and so very thankful to be counted as one of His own.