Fellows, do you want a wife who will ravish you with her love when you come home from a long day’s work? Do you want a wife that lets you know that in her eyes, you are her delight and are all of the man you like to think of yourself as being? Do you want a wife that brags you up with her friends and tells them what a great guy you are and how much she admires and respects you? Do you want a wife who says with pride, “Yes, my husband is the head of our home.”? Do you want a wife who is thrilled to be with you and who will do anything you ask of her? Do you want a wife who supports you and will stand behind you and love you in all the situations which come up in life?

Here again, a "no" answer to any of these questions means that the blood has already quit flowing through your veins. Well guys, it doesn’t come without a price. What you decide depends upon your attitude about your wife, the girl who you picked out of all the others to spend your life with. Fellows, let me tell you a secret about women, they need to know that in your eyes, there is no other and that she is the desire of your heart. She needs to know that she is beautiful and attractive and important to you and that you can’t do it without her support (come on fellows, in reality you can’t and you know it, already addressed the ladies about that). This cannot be overemphasized, guys. They are different than us, and really, aren’t you glad? Their emotional makeup is entirely different than ours, fellows.

Today it is not politically correct to distinguish a difference between the sexes, but that is going against the very nature of how God created us. That little girl in them is still there just as that little boy is still in you. God created us in a way that we can never be complete without one another. We are only complete when we are one flesh, man and woman together. They need us to make them complete and we need them to make us complete. It is time to get off the macho high horse and admit it guys. If you try to force your wife to submit to your authority, (by the way it is not your authority, God placed that authority with you to do what is right with that authority) all you’re going to get is a rebellious wife, and I can’t say that I would blame her. How do we guys respond to someone who tries to demand and command us to do something against our will? What makes you think it should be any different with your wife when you do that to her?

Quite frankly, I admire the woman that says, “He thinks I see him as being a king on the throne when in reality I see him as a pauper sitting on the pot.” You can take the throne by force guys, but all you will gain is an unwilling subject caving into your self-imposed power and you will drive her to the arms of another man. Don’t think for one moment that you will be guiltless if that should happen. If it does, it is because you have not fulfilled the proper role that God has called you to fulfill as head of the home. With that role comes responsibilities, and those responsibilities are for the welfare of your wife, not your own fulfillment of being the club and whip ruling over your home. It means supporting your wife financially, emotionally, physically and spiritually. If you should neglect any one of these, you will not be the true king sitting on the throne of your home, the king your wife desires you to be. She will place you there if you fulfill these responsibilities, and any woman who would not desire that of you has gone against her own nature. Believe me, fellows, she would be more that willing to submit to that authority with gladness in her heart and you would be ravished with her love.

Guys, let her know that she is the desire of your heart. Tell her that. Let her know that in your eyes she is the most beautiful, attractive and desirous woman in your life and that you need her love. If you think that is sissy stuff, then be prepared to have things continue as they are. If you think only a sissy does those things, then why don’t you have the courage to do it? In reality, men, that is what being a real man is all about, having the courage to be a real man and to go against what the world may be telling you what a man is all about. A real man is as gentle as a lamb with his wife and as vicious as a lion when it comes to protecting her against harm. But fellows, don’t let that harm to her come from your own hands, or you will feel the hot breath of the Lion of Judah upon yourself.

One more thing needs to be addressed here to men. I say this mostly to the men even though it will apply to some of the ladies as well, but primarily to the guys. Guys, get rid of all those little girly magazines, porn videos and such. This violates the sanctity of the marriage bed. (Please see our article on the effects of Pornography and A Wife's Letter to Her Husband on Pornography.) If you do what I have spoken to you about today, you won’t need such things. You will be satisfied with the wife of your youth and it will be pure and holy, which will be much more satisfying than anything you could get out of such things like that. You may not realize it right now guys, but those things bring much harm upon yourself and your wife.

She feels that when you ogle and drool over those things that she is being replaced with those things and she is nothing other than the object you are fulfilling those fantasies with, and at those moments, she really isn’t your wife. Be really honest with yourselves on this matter, you know that is true don’t you. You know you would not like for your wife to be fantasizing about some other guy while you were making love to her. How do you expect her to feel any differently about that? That porn stuff cheapens and degrades the purpose God created sexuality for, and He cannot be pleased with such things because porn is self-gratification and takes the intimacy and love being expressed for your wife completely out of the picture and is real close to bringing someone else into your marriage bed and defiling it.

Strange, isn’t it? If you came home and found another man in your bed, I don’t think you would be very pleased about it, yet what is it you are doing when you bring that stuff into your own bed and try to get your wife to look at other men engaging in lust and self gratification like a bunch of tomcats with a feline?

In preparing this article, the Bible says that when a preacher preaches, he is preaching to himself as well, and I have been convicted of several things in here myself. But I am not going to quit trying to obtain that goal that God desires that all marriages should be, and will continue to work in areas that are still lacking in my wife’s and my marriage of 35 years. Even though it will never be perfect, because guess what? Neither I nor my wife have obtained perfection yet either, and we never will until we pass from this life, but that is no excuse to give up and become complacent either.